Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
...
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Betcha the liar told you I was speeding too.
Woman speeding
Started by Firefox, Feb 07 2013 12:50 PM
2 replies to this topic
#1
Posted 07 February 2013 - 12:50 PM

Dell Precision T7500, Win7 Ultimate 64bit fully updated, McAfee Corp Edition v8.8,
Watchguard Firewall, Intel Xeon E5606CPU, Dual Quad Core Processors, 16GB Ram,
E5606 @ 2.13GHz, Nvidia Quadro NVS420, Raid-1 Dual 1TB Sata 10000 rpm Hard Drives
Dual DVD Burners, IE10, Opera, MBAM
#2
Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:55 PM
David H. Lipman
DLipman@Verizon.Net
DLipman@Verizon.Net
#3
Posted 02 March 2013 - 10:57 PM
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming | Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies | Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me | 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken | I just want you to know who I am
-The Goo Goo Dolls, Iris, Dizzy Up The Girl-
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